Part of Hell Where You Do the Same Thing Over and Over Again

maio 16, 2022 Postar um comentário

Dante Alighieri'due south The Divine One-act is considered an ballsy masterpiece and a foundational piece of work of the Western canon. We offering this brusque guide to the nine circles of Hell, as described in Dante's Inferno.

Commencement Circle: Limbo
The first circle is home to the unbaptized and virtuous pagans. It's not Heaven, but as far as Hell goes, it isn't too bad: It'southward the retirement community of the afterlife. Hippocrates and Aristotle volition exist your neighbors, so any endeavor at minor talk volition probably turn into Big Talk in a hurry. Yous'll have television, simply all of the channels will exist set to CSPAN.

Second Circle: Lust
The wind-buffeted second circle of Hell is the concluding destination of the lustful and cheating — basically anyone controlled past their hormones. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy were amongst its most famous residents during Dante's day, but yous can await this place to be full of angsty teenagers and reality television stars by the time you arrive.

Third Circle: Gluttony
Today's forecast calls for enough of icy rain and slush — a "wintery mix" for all eternity. Yous know those people whose Instagram feeds are total of advisedly lit photos of artfully arranged entrees? You lot'll probably notice them here, plus anyone whose response is "I'g kind of a foodie" when asked where they'd like to go eat.

If playing pirates forever sounds like your idea of a expert time, so the fifth circle can't be too bad.

Fourth Circle: Greed
This department of Hell is reserved for the money-grubbers and overly materialistic among us. Co-ordinate to Dante, those condemned to the 4th circle spend eternity fighting over money and valuables, so be prepared to meet all of your distant cousins who testify up out of nowhere with empty U-Haul trucks moments the moment after a well-to-exercise bang-up aunt or uncle dies.

Fifth Circle: Anger
Dante tells us that the wrathful and angry souls of this circle spend eternity waging battle on the River of Styx. If playing pirates forever sounds like your idea of a good time, and then the 5th circle tin't be too bad. Be prepared to hoist the Jolly Roger and go to state of war against that one guy in line who yelled at your favorite barista, and the road rage-possessed commuter who very about rear-ended you last week.

Sixth Circle: Heresy
Dante wrote that heretics spent eternity entombed in flaming crypts in the sixth circle, but heresy is kind of an obscure sin in modern times. There'south probably enough of vacancies now, so permit'south fill this 1 with anyone who goes bananas whenever "their" movie franchise or comic book changes in a manner they don't like. The air in the sixth circle is probably choked with ashes and anguished cries of "[X] ruined my childhood!"

7th Circle: Violence
I'll be honest with y'all, dear reader: Dante was being kind of a dick when it came to designing this level. It is equanimous of three rings. The outer band is filled with blood and fire and reserved for murderers and thugs. That's fine, merely information technology gets sketchier from here. The center ring is where, according to Dante, suicide victims go. They're transformed into trees and fed upon by harpies (which I guess are somehow related to termites?). The inner ring, a identify of burning sand, is reserved for "blasphemers" and "sodomites." Like I said, Dante was a chip of a dick. How about nosotros ret-con this one (Sorry, residents of the sixth circle…) and reserve it for the likes of the Westboro Baptist Church? If that makes me kind of a dick, well, I'll live with that.

Eighth Circle: Fraud
The eighth circle is subdivided into x trenches. We won't get into the specifics of who goes where (Too bad, Dante. That'south what you lot get for making me write adjoin the seventh circle) only here yous'll discover con artists of all sorts. Dante described ditches, but I prefer to think of the eight circle as existence a giant cubicle farm full of phone and net fraudsters. Welcome, supposed "IRS agents" who insist on being paid in iTunes cards.

Ninth Circle: Treachery
The final circle is a frozen wasteland occupied by history'southward greatest traitors. So … Washington, DC in February?